The Change Up

Brokenness: Forcibly separated into two or more pieces; fractured (Thefreedictionary.com)

Ladies, how many of you can relate to the definition listed above? Felt broken? Ripped apart? Emotionally fractured?  Life has at some point torn you into pieces, leaving you to mend yourself together again?

If we have lived for any real length of time, we know that life can deal some really interesting hands and sometimes we cannot trade those cards in for a new hand. We have to play the game even in the face of seeming defeat.

As a Black woman I can attest to being hit by tough circumstances but have the need to keep going; fighting to push though although I may feel a deep sense of sadness or even bitterness. Some would say that the experience of being broken or brokenness is just part of life’s journey, especially for a woman. Interesting, right? Has anyone ever heard of a broken man? Have you ever heard of man going through a “breaking process?” Why is it that it is ok for a woman to be “broken” but no such idea for a man? Is it sexism? Is it stereotyping? Women are fragile and thus they go through situations that cause them to breakdown?  Men are the providers and meant to be strong? They cannot show a sign of breaking? They are not supposed to breakdown?

Who came up with this idea of brokenness anyway? And why are we, women, the target of it?

I have the pleasure of introducing to you a woman who desires to challenge society’s thinking on this topic. Mrs. Kim Henderson has created WomanUnbreakable. It is a dynamic movement geared toward empowering young women to create healthy lifestyles, develop self-confidence and develop a strength that assists them in succeeding in all of life’s changes.

WomanUnbreakable was birthed from her disbelief after watching a movie called “The Change Up.” It’s about two once inseparable friends, Dave (Jason Bateman) and Mitch (Ryan Reynolds) who have drifted apart over the years. Dave had been an overworked lawyer and family man, while Mitch had managed to avoid most of the normal responsibilities of adulthood.

In one of the scenes Mitch goes to Dave’s house to take him on a night out away from his family. When Mitch arrives to the home, Dave’s daughter runs lovingly into his arms and asks “Uncle Mitch would you like to come to my dance recital?” Mitch puts her down and says “While I would love to hunny, the only dance recitals I like involves BROKEN WOMEN with DADDY ISSUES and silver poles” … WHAT did he say?!! Not only is his comment outrageous…and it is was said to a little girl… But this clip is suggesting that strippers and women who may not have had a father figure are “broken.”  Of course this movie is written by two men (Jon Lucas and Scott Moore). Not to hate on men but just like we have no idea what it is to live as a male, they have no idea what is to be a female. Clearly I am infuriated by this line and so was Kim.

Kim shares how she was touched in a very personal way and simply put, offended. She researched the topic “broken women” and sure enough several articles, books and self-help material popped up. There was an extensive list of behaviors displayed by the “broken woman.” However, she found no such details for the “broken man.”

Kim thought to herself, “why is it that women are always the ones in need of fixing? Why is it that we (women) willingly ascribe to this narrative of being broken when life just doesn’t go as planned, or if we find ourselves in an emotionally vulnerable state? So much so, that society is making a profit off of trying to “fix us!”

Well sis! Woman Unbreakable is here to disrupt that narrative. Let’s CHANGE IT UP. We do not need to be fixed! You are not broken because you grew up without a father figure in your home. You are not broken because your relationship with your significant other did not work out. You are not broken because you are still learning how to love yourself. You are not broken because you feel like you could be further ahead in life. The heartache, pain and disappointment that you have experienced or are experiencing all serve a purpose- TO MAKE YOU RESILIENT AND PROPEL YOU INTO GREATNESS. Growing pains are a part of the experience. You are growing and becoming your better self!

Women, we do not break! We may shift. We evolve. But break? NEVER.

You are… We are UNBREAKABLE!

Ladies, Woman Unbreakable is a movement that you need to be a part of. Break the myth that you have to be broken. Woman Unbreakable seeks to support you and help you grow by means of creating a community for you and opportunities for mentorship, education, and networking.

Follow @WomanUnbreakable on Instagram and Facebook

Dope Merch: linktr.ee/womanunbreakable 

4 thoughts on “The Change Up

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